Picking the Perfect Christmas Tree

For those who hunt for their Christmas tree every year in a forest rather than in a basement closet finding the 'right' tree can be quite the challenge. 

For some it's all about besting the tree they had last year— whether that's because the tree was particularly terrible or particularly incredible is inconsequential. The hunt is real and "we must find one better than last year". For some it's about having another excuse to dress up in their cute coat and drink some hot cocoa.

While for others it's about the sweet time spent with family hiking through the woods looking for the tree that's 'just right'. Not too tall. Not too short. And just wide enough to hold all of our christmas lights and ornaments.

My guess though is that for you it's probably a combination of all of those things. It is for me. So, to help you on your hunt I have included a few tips to helping you find the right tree.

Follow the step-by-step directions below.

Step 1— Drive through the countryside until you see a massive snowman inflatable. You're in luck. The tree farm is close. 

Step 1— Drive through the countryside until you see a massive snowman inflatable. You're in luck. The tree farm is close. 

Step 2— Upon arriving at the tree farm make sure to select an appropriate saw to help you acquire your tree. 

Step 2— Upon arriving at the tree farm make sure to select an appropriate saw to help you acquire your tree. 

Step 3— Fall in love with the first tree you walk up to.

Step 3— Fall in love with the first tree you walk up to.

Step 4— Move on from that tree because "there is no way that we could have found our tree this fast".

Step 4— Move on from that tree because "there is no way that we could have found our tree this fast".

Step 5— Look super cute in a little bomber hat and red coat.

Step 5— Look super cute in a little bomber hat and red coat.

Step 6— Inspect the tops of the trees. This crucial part of the tree will be home to your star.

Step 6— Inspect the tops of the trees. This crucial part of the tree will be home to your star.

Step 7— Inspect the needles of the tree. Not all needles are created equal. My recommendation is picking a tree in the 'fir' family as they are known for their great 'A' shape and their sturdy needle and branch. Perfect for all of those heavy ornaments. Side note: wear slippers in the house. They can be a bit sharp.

Step 7— Inspect the needles of the tree. Not all needles are created equal. My recommendation is picking a tree in the 'fir' family as they are known for their great 'A' shape and their sturdy needle and branch. Perfect for all of those heavy ornaments. Side note: wear slippers in the house. They can be a bit sharp.

Step 8— Second guess everything and walk aimlessly through the tree farm for 30 minutes.

Step 8— Second guess everything and walk aimlessly through the tree farm for 30 minutes.

Step 9— While walking aimlessly make sure to stay nice and warm. Body heat is a plus.

Step 9— While walking aimlessly make sure to stay nice and warm. Body heat is a plus.

Step 10— Circle back to the first tree you fell in love with and inspect the base to make sure it is suitable for your tree stand.

Step 10— Circle back to the first tree you fell in love with and inspect the base to make sure it is suitable for your tree stand.

Step 11— Decide that, "Yes indeed, this is the perfect one." Then loudly exclaim to all who will hear, "I knew it all along." Then proceed to start cutting your tree. Start near the ground using long and steady cuts perpendicular to the trunk of the tree. The goal is to use the entire length of the saw blade not just one section in short fast strokes.

Step 11— Decide that, "Yes indeed, this is the perfect one." Then loudly exclaim to all who will hear, "I knew it all along." Then proceed to start cutting your tree. Start near the ground using long and steady cuts perpendicular to the trunk of the tree. The goal is to use the entire length of the saw blade not just one section in short fast strokes.

Step 12— After felling your tree make sure to clean up the truck a little bit to make sure you have room under your tree for some presents and snuggles.

Step 12— After felling your tree make sure to clean up the truck a little bit to make sure you have room under your tree for some presents and snuggles.

Step 13— Start the long arduous task of dragging your tree to your warm vehicle.

Step 13— Start the long arduous task of dragging your tree to your warm vehicle.

Step 14— Seriously, you parked pretty far away. Get hiking

Step 14— Seriously, you parked pretty far away. Get hiking

Steps 15-17— Ask an off duty Santa to help you shake and bail your freshly cut tree. This ensures that all of the dust and dead needles are removed from your tree and that it can be transported safely.

Steps 15-17— Ask an off duty Santa to help you shake and bail your freshly cut tree. This ensures that all of the dust and dead needles are removed from your tree and that it can be transported safely.

Step 18— Leave the tree farm with your wonderful new tree. Serious. Did you remember to put it in the trailer?

Step 18— Leave the tree farm with your wonderful new tree. Serious. Did you remember to put it in the trailer?

Step 19— Remember that picking a tree surrounded by your loved ones is always way more fun then doing it by yourself...even if you have to fight over who gets to pick the tree this year.

Step 19— Remember that picking a tree surrounded by your loved ones is always way more fun then doing it by yourself...even if you have to fight over who gets to pick the tree this year.

 

 

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